jeffingtonWARNING: Owning this knife may cause sudden urges to chop things in slow motion, an inexplicable increase in charisma, and the ability to hear colors. Are you tired of carrying a butter knife like a common peasant? Do you want a blade so sharp it can slice through the fabric of reality and peel the chrome off a trailer hitch just by LOOKING at it? Enter the STINGRAY BLADES RIPTIDE. This isn’t a knife; it’s a high-octane lightning bolt forged in the depths of a caffeinated fever dream and wrapped in pure, unadulterated adrenaline. THE BLADE: 3.125 inches of M390 STEEL. This isn't your grandfather’s pocket knife. This steel was quenched in the tears of dragons and sharpened on the edge of a black hole. It stays sharp longer than a conspiracy theorist on a triple espresso. THE HANDLE: A 5.2-inch masterpiece of TITANIUM fused with COPPER CARBON FIBER. It looks like alien technology recovered from a crash site in the Mojave. It’s light, it’s sleek, and it screams "I have excellent taste and potentially a dangerous amount of energy." THE WEIGHT: A microscopic 3.57oz. You’ll forget it’s in your pocket until you need to shave a mountain or disassemble a skyscraper. It’s lighter than your conscience after a weekend in Vegas. THE CONDITION: NEW IN BOX. This specimen has never tasted cardboard. It has never met a zip tie it didn't like. It’s sitting in its original packaging, vibrating with the suppressed urge to WORK. THE DAMAGE: $200. That’s it. For two bills, you aren't just buying a tool; you’re buying a seat at the table of the gods. FIRST PERSON TO GRAB IT WINS. THE REST OF YOU CAN STAY IN THE STONE AGE.
Price includes shipping! PayPal F+F or Zelle preferred!
